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state of affairs

I am really feeling trapped. When I drive up the on ramp to get on the interstate sometimes I feel like not following the curve and just driving straight. Or sometimes I feel like passing the Lake Mary exit and not looking back.

But WTF good would that do?


OKAY! Found a layout on a free layout comm. Does anyone have a tumblr? If so, can you clue me in as to the use of it? :( I don't think I am doing it right.

Next mission: New userpics.

changing the look of things

Trying to figure out a good minimal layout for this thing but I'm too lazy to reacquaint myself with how to edit LJ layouts. Also, how do you make all previous posts friends only?

oh yeah

Check out these sweet moves.

belly dancingCollapse )


I got back into BD, which I am happy and, of course, obsessed about. I'm also kind of getting into drum circles now too, since they are a lot of fun to dance at and there is a really great energy about them.

On another note, Derek and I's one-year anniversary is this Monday. :) We are going to Chalet Suzanne for a nice celebratory dinner. I don't have anything to wear, though!

I got financial aid this year! Which means I'll be able to go back to school. Not full time like I wanted, but only half time. You know what, though, something is better then nothing!

belly dancing to joanna newsom

belly dancing to joannaCollapse )

Belly dancing to Joanna Newsom. You have to fast forward a bit, but still pretty cool. She utilizes other styles of dance amidst the BD, but its still there.


Well, I interviewed for a library job at the community college I go to. Its SCC and its pretty well known around these parts and one of the largest community colleges around. Derek also works there and sometime in the future I'd like to teach there. I really like SCC, needless to say.

Anyways, I had the interview last Tuesday. I think I did really well and I think they recognized how good of a fit working at the library would be. Also, Derek was in the library and apparently briefly spoke to one of the women I interviewed with (you interview with the hiring committee, which was three people). She mentioned his reference letter and said I was a really good candidate.

The perks? Well, I'd be working in a library. I like libraries. Additionally, I get to work at SCC where I go to school anyways, so I could go to class then come to work, or go to work then go to class. No rushing around neccesary. Also, it pays $10.23/hr. I'll get just about every weekend off, it will be morning shifts, and only about 25-30 hours a week.

The con? Well, not too many hours so not as much money. Also, you only get paid once a month. So I'll have to really keep track of my spending.

Also, Rena and I will be moving out. She's going to UCF and I will probably move in with my aunt. My aunt is only going to charge me $300 a month to live there. I am going to see if the landlord wants us out by May, which would work well for both Rena and I.

So if I can land this position and knock the amount of bills I have to pay down, then that leaves me with a hell of a lot of extra money. Which means I can actually pay off debt and SAVE!!! It will be amazing.

Its already the next week from when I interviewed and I am getting really antsy. Derek said that with the way things work at SCC that it will take them a while to even get together and organize their recomendations to submit to the dean of the library, who will go from there to decide who gets hired. The woman I interviewed with said that I should know something (SCC calls to let you know if you do or don't get a position) by the end of this week. So I am hoping that I get a call tomorrow.

Whether I do or don't get the position, I just want to know. I've been so anxious about it. It would be so amazing to get this job. Oh my gosh, I can't even describe it. I would probably cry or something.

Anyways, I thought I would write about that.


I was really hoping to hear back on a job I had an interview for. I thought I did really well at the interview. Thursday evening was his last interview for the position, so I thought I'd might hear something from them today. If by Monday I don't hear anything, I'll give them a call just to get it off my back. I really wanted this job too, but I don't think I got it. :( *sigh*

Speaking of jobs, I may be able to work for SCC start summer. Mike, Derek's best friend, is leaving his position as lab manager/para-professional and if things work out, I may be able to take over.

That would be amazing.

Additionally, its possible the chemistry lab manager is leaving at the same time, so they'll be short on people. Derek said they're kind of freaking out, so I may actually be able to score both jobs, though apparently setting up chemistry labs is really involved. That's okay though, it would be about ten times more rewarding and educational then working in the fucking deli.

I was going to mention one more thing...

Oh yeah!

I stopped by Wal-Mart to pick up some things and the lady in front of me, who I shared some banter with, offered to pay for my food. o_o;;; It was over $40 worth, too (i had to put some back). I didn't let her, but I thanked her for generosity nonetheless, though I get the feeling she only wanted to be charitable for "fun". (she'd mentioned she'd just gotten promoted or something.)

Also, I am trying to work on not revolving my life around Derek. I've never had that issue before with any other boyfriend, but its definitely a problem, because its led to the neglect of my friendships in the past 5-6 months we've been together. Its not something I'm particularly proud of, but I am trying to fix it, albeit slowly.

I think I also miss the times I used to hang out with my friends nearly 24/7. I guess now things are different somehow? I work such crappy hours that I don't really want to come home and hang out, honestly. I am just tired, I want to relax and have some time to myself to prepare for the next day's shift.

So I am trying to fill my day's off with activities, as well as any day that I get out at a decent hour, though they like to work me mid-shifts.

Okay, I guess I am done.


Why do I need a book for speech....seriously..................... I forgot that we are supposed to go over some pages in it today so I gotta go to the bookstore and pick it up before class. Hopefully they have it, but I can't foresee the speech books running out anytime soon.

I've had no sleep either and ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

fairy tales are yum!

So the guy from a couple entries back, the dude from the planetarium, or Planetarium Guy as he's known to my mother, is named Derek. Well we've hit it off and needless to say we are still chillin'. I figured that brief explanation was due.

So anyways! I recently relayed to him my adventures in bookstore land and how I found a smattering of fairy tale compilations in the bargain book sections. All really nice books and they look really cool. Well, he went out and bought me one. :)

I always feel a little weird and awkward when people gift me things because I typically feel undeserving of any kind of act of goodwill. Silly and self-loathing as that sounds, its true. I guess I just feel like I haven't done enough charitable acts to put enough good karma into the ether.

However, I gave my thanks many times over, since I don't want people to feel like I don't appreciate what they do give me. I am always very appreciative, even more so due to the fact that I never feel deserving.

Man, I come off like such a whiner.

So now I am in "What do I do in return?" mode. :) I've got a couple ideas, but y'know, I always appreciate suggestions. :) I guess its important because this is like...the first gift exchange?! Always a momentous occasion! Of which was completely unprompted on my end.

P.S.: He totally knows my LJ and he's nosey so will probably eventually read this! Probably!

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